innkeeping: Country inn description - not!

[owner-innkeeping]

This was in our local paper recently...ye gads --. I think they're kinda 
lame...

LIST DU JOUR
The 10 hallmarks of a good country inn, according to the summer issue of 
a new travel quarterly, 'Getaways':
                 
1. A fireplace in every room
(JMB: yeah, right)

2. Wood delivered daily
(JMB: Someone had a bad wood-inn experience <G>)

3. Homemade breakfasts
(JMB: no quarrel here)

4. Tea, but no teabags
(JMB: hm....m..., but I'm a coffee drinker!)

5. Big beds, firm beds
(JMB: Easy on the "firm" please. Firm isn't totally
rock-hard. There's a great way of having firm...with soft-tops and the 
back still survives. Can surely tell I'm over 30...way far over...)